This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
ugly people sure do ruin things
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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