Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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