The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
