What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
