I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
