Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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