What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
