I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
