he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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