i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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