WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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