I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
