Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
