I think im going to throw up on grandma
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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