So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
