so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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