You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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