come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
you would pick up someone in the library
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
