I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
