I feel like I'm in dance class right now
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
