what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
