Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
