dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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