you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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