You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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