So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
