You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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