So drunk its hurt
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
