my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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