Is it normal to miss your booty call?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
