Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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