I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
