She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
