I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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