When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
