hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
True college students do jello shots in the library
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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