Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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