Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
