Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
