just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
