She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
