I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
