Cold hands, warm shart.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
tequila makes me forget i have legs
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
