So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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