I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He did a backflip because drugs
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
