Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I can't put those talents on a resume
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
