Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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