Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
