You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
