...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
